Monday, September 18, 2006

Sex Ed

Before having kids, I never really thought much about children as sexual beings. Maybe I've been naive, but I kind of thought kids got to be kids for a few years at least, before starting to notice their bodies and what they can do. I suppose it all depends on the child, and perhaps on the gender. I have heard or read about how early some kids are sexually active, and I'm frankly astonished to learn that in some cases, children as young as fourth grade are having sex. Can you imagine that? Can you even remember what you were like in the fourth grade? If so, is it even conceivable that you might have been sexually active back then?

I suppose we all have our own hang ups about our bodies, our own attitudes toward sex. The tricky thing here is to respond to our children's questions, behaviors, discoveries, etc. in a neutral, factual way to avoid creating any anxieties for them. I remember reading in one parenting book that it is important not to make a nasty face when changing poopy diapers, just in case your child interprets that to mean that the face is directed at their private parts. That sounded a little extreme, but I still took the advice.

So far I think we've done a pretty good job of being matter-of-fact with our kids. Still, there are some things that I simply don't think they're ready to absorb yet.

Case in point: Rowan is very interested in his penis, and generally pounces on any opportunity to touch it. (Kemper doesn't seem to have developed the same interest yet.) And he is aware that it changes size. A few weeks ago while I was changing his diaper, he said, "Mommy, it turned into a big one!" Well, this was hardly what I was expecting to hear from my 2 1/2 year old child, so I probably seemed a bit surprised by the statement. Which of course means he says similar things all the time now. My personal favorite, though, was when he announced that he has two penises - a big one and a small one. He occasionally asks me where his big penis is, and I'm just not sure how I should respond to him. Of course when the appropriate time for more detailed information comes, he'll want to have no part in the conversation.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Busy, Busy, Busy

Boy has it been a busy handful of weeks! Since the last post, we've gone on our family vacation with my in-laws, started all but one of our fall activities, hired an architect to design our new kitchen, and who knows what else I've forgotten about but it sure feels like there should be more on the list.

Our trip to Nova Scotia was good. We drove from Boston, and all the adults in the car were completely amazed at how well the boys were for the long trip each way. Preparing for the worst, we bought a portable DVD player. They only watched one movie each direction, and it was something like a 12 hour drive. Wow. Of course, there was some sleeping, and we took a 3 hour ferry ride on the way back, but still. And Nova Scotia was quite pretty. We didn't get to "do" as much as some of us might have liked due to nap restrictions and our location, but as always it was good to see the family in a relaxing situation. This was our third summer doing the family trip, and so far it seems to be working out for all parties concerned. At least, that what everyone says.

I've got a very busy fall planned for the kids. We have something scheduled every day, with the exception of Sundays. Mondays we're doing a class called Morning Glories at the Waldorf School for 2 hours. Tuesdays they go to daycare all day, and I go to my tax prep course. Wednesdays we have Infancy to Independence, which is a parent coop group for 2 1/2 hours. Thursdays are the same as Tuesdays. Fridays we have Music Together in the morning, and gymnastics just after lunch. And on Saturdays, the boys have swim lessons. We just finished our first week of this schedule (except that music doesn't start until next week), and we all survived. Well, except for the naptime incident and the events that followed.

Completely unrelated to our full schedule (I know this because similar things have happened in the past when we didn't have much going on), Kemper and Rowan pushed me to my limit and I have removed everything but the stuffed animals and beds from their bedroom. Let me explain. If you've read the rest of my entries, you're familiar with the ongoing battle between mom and boys at naptime. Let me just say that it hasn't improved. These days if they don't fall asleep in the car, there is no nap. There is only fun and games. I recently rearranged their room, as they had been climbing up on the furniture and looking out the windows or opening and closing them. Since they are on the second floor, this seemed like the right thing to do. They weren't happy about it, but too bad.

There have been several occasions when they have emptied all the books from the bookshelves, dumped all of their clothes out of the dresser, and other similar things instead of napping. Needless to say I'm fed up with cleaning up the messes. (Yes, I make them help, but the reality is that they can't dress themselves, let alone fold their clothes.) Well, the other day when I went up after letting them laugh and play for a while, I found the books and clothes scattered, but that wasn't all. They had pulled a box out of their closet that had one of those wall mounted wooden measuring posts in it, and the box was lined with styrofoam. Yep, they had pulled out the styrofoam and broken it into little chunks and much of it into those tiny little styrofoam pellets, and it was EVERYWHERE. In the beds, in the carpet, mixed in with the clothes, in the closet, everywhere. That's it, I told them. I'm taking everything out of your room until you can learn to treat it all properly.

I then proceeded to clean up the enormous mess. It took no less than 2 hours, during which time they merrily jumped from one bed to the other, seemingly completely unconcerned with the various threats and grumblings coming from my mouth. Oh, I forgot to mention that their father was out of town for a few days, so I wasl already pretty burned out since I hadn't had any help. I ended up only moving the bookshelf, which was already empty and therefore pretty easy to move, and I left the other two pieces of furniture until I could get some help.

I regretted this delay a couple of days later, when I found them standing on top of one dresser and playing with the wall sconce. They had removed two of the three screws that hold the glass cover over the lightbulb, and they also turned the entire fixture upside down. Grrrrr. And of course the clothes were everywhere. So I just moved the last two items into our own bedroom and shut the door behind me.

Later that same night, we listened as they giggled and sang and generally avoided going to sleep. "Should we go check on them?" Morgan asked. "No", I said, "how much trouble could they possibly get into with all the furniture taken out of their room?" Famous last words, for when we finally decided to go up and plead with them to go to sleep, we discovered that they had found where I put the box full of cleaned up styrofoam pieces and dumped it out AGAIN. All over Kemper's bed, pressed into the rug, down in the cracks where the rug meets the wall. I was so angry I couldn't speak. Morgan was pretty mad too, and made the boys pick up all the pieces. I just can't believe I left any question about how upset I was the first time they did it.

Needless to say, the styrofoam made its way immediately into the outside trash following the second episode.