Amusing Things The Boys Say (or said)

I really should be keeping a baby book for each of the boys, but come on. I can't even keep my kitchen counter cleared off for more than about 5 minutes. The daily rush of having two 2 year olds is unrelenting. Even when they're sleeping I always have something to do - you know, load or unload the washer, dryer, dishwasher; or prep dinner; or maybe eat lunch without anyone tugging on me. So no, I don't have baby books.

Which creates a problem. I haven't been consistent about keeping a record of all the cute/funny/unbelievable things that come out of the mouths of babes. An occasional scrap of paper here or there, which, if I'm lucky, doesn't get lost, eaten, or thrown away. What follows is an attempt to catalog some of their choicest.

1. The past tense of go is "gowent". As in, "Yesterday I go went to the playground." (Kemper)

2. Even two year olds remember the smallest things. Earlier this summer, we bought them their first ice cream cones. We had given them ice cream before, but only bites from our own. Daddy explained that if they eat it too fast, they'll get a brainfreeze. Wouldn't you know it, but the next time we took them for ice cream, Kemper says, "Mommy, I getting a brainfreeze!" Followed by the palm of his hand pushing against his forehead in an effort to stop it. (Also known as a harmless example of the "little pitchers have big ears" dilemma of parenting.)

3. As mentioned in my last post, we recently bought twin mattresses for the boys. Last week I rearranged their room, as I had previously only shoved everything out of the way to make space for the two beds. Since one of the stalling tactics had been to ask for more books, I decided to locate the bookshelf against the same wall as the heads of their beds. I left about 6 or 8 inches between each bed and the shelf. That night, during one of the still numerous nightly wake-ups, as I was walking down the hall Kemper says, "Help mommy, I stuck!" He had fallen out of bed, and was wedged between the shelf and the mattress.

4. Toddler logic: "This is in this room because it's in this room."

5. We know all about those odd times of day based on our wakeup times. As in, "It's oh-dark-thirty". This after daddy tried to explain that most people don't get up at that hour. Of course, they aren't quite clear on the subject, as they think it applies to any time it is dark outside.

6. The more they talk, the more interesting things become. Yesterday was a brutal day for Rowan and me. He found my egg slicer, and was strumming the wires on it like a harp. It was pretty impressive, actually. Sounded nice, too. But when it got to be naptime, I told him it had to stay downstairs until he woke up. A major fit ensued (a full hour of screaming, book throwing, etc.), followed by a shorter than usual nap. I had told him that he couldn't have it back until he put all the books back onto his bookshelf. Well, he woke up screaming that he wanted "that friend" back, and we went back and forth about how I wasn't going to give it to him until he cleaned up the books. (I won the battle, by the way. He eventually did it.) Anyway, he never really asked what the thing was. So this morning after breakfast, he asked me for "that other thing". When I asked what he meant, he said, "That thing I had in my room yesterday had to pick up all the books have it back". Leaving absolutely no doubt in my mind what it was he was talking about.

7. The more they talk, the more interesting things become, part II. The downside is that you can't always trust that they're speaking the truth. Kemper woke up in the middle of the night having difficulty breathing. (Turns out it was croup, but we didn't know that at the time.) He sounded really awful. Daddy asked if he swallowed anything, and he said, "Yes." At which point I took him to the emergency room, as I couldn't assume that he hadn't. Turns out of course that he hadn't swallowed anything to obstruct his airway, but when questioned, he told me he had swallowed some water.

There are surely others, but those paper scraps are nowhere to be found right now....