Before having kids, I never really thought much about children as sexual beings. Maybe I've been naive, but I kind of thought kids got to be kids for a few years at least, before starting to notice their bodies and what they can do. I suppose it all depends on the child, and perhaps on the gender. I have heard or read about how early some kids are sexually active, and I'm frankly astonished to learn that in some cases, children as young as fourth grade are having sex. Can you imagine that? Can you even remember what you were like in the fourth grade? If so, is it even conceivable that you might have been sexually active back then?
I suppose we all have our own hang ups about our bodies, our own attitudes toward sex. The tricky thing here is to respond to our children's questions, behaviors, discoveries, etc. in a neutral, factual way to avoid creating any anxieties for them. I remember reading in one parenting book that it is important not to make a nasty face when changing poopy diapers, just in case your child interprets that to mean that the face is directed at their private parts. That sounded a little extreme, but I still took the advice.
So far I think we've done a pretty good job of being matter-of-fact with our kids. Still, there are some things that I simply don't think they're ready to absorb yet.
Case in point: Rowan is very interested in his penis, and generally pounces on any opportunity to touch it. (Kemper doesn't seem to have developed the same interest yet.) And he is aware that it changes size. A few weeks ago while I was changing his diaper, he said, "Mommy, it turned into a big one!" Well, this was hardly what I was expecting to hear from my 2 1/2 year old child, so I probably seemed a bit surprised by the statement. Which of course means he says similar things all the time now. My personal favorite, though, was when he announced that he has two penises - a big one and a small one. He occasionally asks me where his big penis is, and I'm just not sure how I should respond to him. Of course when the appropriate time for more detailed information comes, he'll want to have no part in the conversation.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Busy, Busy, Busy
Boy has it been a busy handful of weeks! Since the last post, we've gone on our family vacation with my in-laws, started all but one of our fall activities, hired an architect to design our new kitchen, and who knows what else I've forgotten about but it sure feels like there should be more on the list.
Our trip to Nova Scotia was good. We drove from Boston, and all the adults in the car were completely amazed at how well the boys were for the long trip each way. Preparing for the worst, we bought a portable DVD player. They only watched one movie each direction, and it was something like a 12 hour drive. Wow. Of course, there was some sleeping, and we took a 3 hour ferry ride on the way back, but still. And Nova Scotia was quite pretty. We didn't get to "do" as much as some of us might have liked due to nap restrictions and our location, but as always it was good to see the family in a relaxing situation. This was our third summer doing the family trip, and so far it seems to be working out for all parties concerned. At least, that what everyone says.
I've got a very busy fall planned for the kids. We have something scheduled every day, with the exception of Sundays. Mondays we're doing a class called Morning Glories at the Waldorf School for 2 hours. Tuesdays they go to daycare all day, and I go to my tax prep course. Wednesdays we have Infancy to Independence, which is a parent coop group for 2 1/2 hours. Thursdays are the same as Tuesdays. Fridays we have Music Together in the morning, and gymnastics just after lunch. And on Saturdays, the boys have swim lessons. We just finished our first week of this schedule (except that music doesn't start until next week), and we all survived. Well, except for the naptime incident and the events that followed.
Completely unrelated to our full schedule (I know this because similar things have happened in the past when we didn't have much going on), Kemper and Rowan pushed me to my limit and I have removed everything but the stuffed animals and beds from their bedroom. Let me explain. If you've read the rest of my entries, you're familiar with the ongoing battle between mom and boys at naptime. Let me just say that it hasn't improved. These days if they don't fall asleep in the car, there is no nap. There is only fun and games. I recently rearranged their room, as they had been climbing up on the furniture and looking out the windows or opening and closing them. Since they are on the second floor, this seemed like the right thing to do. They weren't happy about it, but too bad.
There have been several occasions when they have emptied all the books from the bookshelves, dumped all of their clothes out of the dresser, and other similar things instead of napping. Needless to say I'm fed up with cleaning up the messes. (Yes, I make them help, but the reality is that they can't dress themselves, let alone fold their clothes.) Well, the other day when I went up after letting them laugh and play for a while, I found the books and clothes scattered, but that wasn't all. They had pulled a box out of their closet that had one of those wall mounted wooden measuring posts in it, and the box was lined with styrofoam. Yep, they had pulled out the styrofoam and broken it into little chunks and much of it into those tiny little styrofoam pellets, and it was EVERYWHERE. In the beds, in the carpet, mixed in with the clothes, in the closet, everywhere. That's it, I told them. I'm taking everything out of your room until you can learn to treat it all properly.
I then proceeded to clean up the enormous mess. It took no less than 2 hours, during which time they merrily jumped from one bed to the other, seemingly completely unconcerned with the various threats and grumblings coming from my mouth. Oh, I forgot to mention that their father was out of town for a few days, so I wasl already pretty burned out since I hadn't had any help. I ended up only moving the bookshelf, which was already empty and therefore pretty easy to move, and I left the other two pieces of furniture until I could get some help.
I regretted this delay a couple of days later, when I found them standing on top of one dresser and playing with the wall sconce. They had removed two of the three screws that hold the glass cover over the lightbulb, and they also turned the entire fixture upside down. Grrrrr. And of course the clothes were everywhere. So I just moved the last two items into our own bedroom and shut the door behind me.
Later that same night, we listened as they giggled and sang and generally avoided going to sleep. "Should we go check on them?" Morgan asked. "No", I said, "how much trouble could they possibly get into with all the furniture taken out of their room?" Famous last words, for when we finally decided to go up and plead with them to go to sleep, we discovered that they had found where I put the box full of cleaned up styrofoam pieces and dumped it out AGAIN. All over Kemper's bed, pressed into the rug, down in the cracks where the rug meets the wall. I was so angry I couldn't speak. Morgan was pretty mad too, and made the boys pick up all the pieces. I just can't believe I left any question about how upset I was the first time they did it.
Needless to say, the styrofoam made its way immediately into the outside trash following the second episode.
Our trip to Nova Scotia was good. We drove from Boston, and all the adults in the car were completely amazed at how well the boys were for the long trip each way. Preparing for the worst, we bought a portable DVD player. They only watched one movie each direction, and it was something like a 12 hour drive. Wow. Of course, there was some sleeping, and we took a 3 hour ferry ride on the way back, but still. And Nova Scotia was quite pretty. We didn't get to "do" as much as some of us might have liked due to nap restrictions and our location, but as always it was good to see the family in a relaxing situation. This was our third summer doing the family trip, and so far it seems to be working out for all parties concerned. At least, that what everyone says.
I've got a very busy fall planned for the kids. We have something scheduled every day, with the exception of Sundays. Mondays we're doing a class called Morning Glories at the Waldorf School for 2 hours. Tuesdays they go to daycare all day, and I go to my tax prep course. Wednesdays we have Infancy to Independence, which is a parent coop group for 2 1/2 hours. Thursdays are the same as Tuesdays. Fridays we have Music Together in the morning, and gymnastics just after lunch. And on Saturdays, the boys have swim lessons. We just finished our first week of this schedule (except that music doesn't start until next week), and we all survived. Well, except for the naptime incident and the events that followed.
Completely unrelated to our full schedule (I know this because similar things have happened in the past when we didn't have much going on), Kemper and Rowan pushed me to my limit and I have removed everything but the stuffed animals and beds from their bedroom. Let me explain. If you've read the rest of my entries, you're familiar with the ongoing battle between mom and boys at naptime. Let me just say that it hasn't improved. These days if they don't fall asleep in the car, there is no nap. There is only fun and games. I recently rearranged their room, as they had been climbing up on the furniture and looking out the windows or opening and closing them. Since they are on the second floor, this seemed like the right thing to do. They weren't happy about it, but too bad.
There have been several occasions when they have emptied all the books from the bookshelves, dumped all of their clothes out of the dresser, and other similar things instead of napping. Needless to say I'm fed up with cleaning up the messes. (Yes, I make them help, but the reality is that they can't dress themselves, let alone fold their clothes.) Well, the other day when I went up after letting them laugh and play for a while, I found the books and clothes scattered, but that wasn't all. They had pulled a box out of their closet that had one of those wall mounted wooden measuring posts in it, and the box was lined with styrofoam. Yep, they had pulled out the styrofoam and broken it into little chunks and much of it into those tiny little styrofoam pellets, and it was EVERYWHERE. In the beds, in the carpet, mixed in with the clothes, in the closet, everywhere. That's it, I told them. I'm taking everything out of your room until you can learn to treat it all properly.
I then proceeded to clean up the enormous mess. It took no less than 2 hours, during which time they merrily jumped from one bed to the other, seemingly completely unconcerned with the various threats and grumblings coming from my mouth. Oh, I forgot to mention that their father was out of town for a few days, so I wasl already pretty burned out since I hadn't had any help. I ended up only moving the bookshelf, which was already empty and therefore pretty easy to move, and I left the other two pieces of furniture until I could get some help.
I regretted this delay a couple of days later, when I found them standing on top of one dresser and playing with the wall sconce. They had removed two of the three screws that hold the glass cover over the lightbulb, and they also turned the entire fixture upside down. Grrrrr. And of course the clothes were everywhere. So I just moved the last two items into our own bedroom and shut the door behind me.
Later that same night, we listened as they giggled and sang and generally avoided going to sleep. "Should we go check on them?" Morgan asked. "No", I said, "how much trouble could they possibly get into with all the furniture taken out of their room?" Famous last words, for when we finally decided to go up and plead with them to go to sleep, we discovered that they had found where I put the box full of cleaned up styrofoam pieces and dumped it out AGAIN. All over Kemper's bed, pressed into the rug, down in the cracks where the rug meets the wall. I was so angry I couldn't speak. Morgan was pretty mad too, and made the boys pick up all the pieces. I just can't believe I left any question about how upset I was the first time they did it.
Needless to say, the styrofoam made its way immediately into the outside trash following the second episode.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
My Little Angels
Maybe it's a mommy thing, but every night before I go to bed, I check on my boys to make sure all is well. You know, pull the covers up, make sure no one is tangled up, whatever. Plus they are so sweet when they're sleeping (as opposed to running me ragged).
Anyway, last night I made my usual trip into their bedroom. I peeked around the corner, and Rowan's bed was empty. My first thought was that he must have fallen out, but a quick glance proved that theory wrong. After a very brief moment of panic (why, I'm not sure - it isn't like I thought he'd been kidnapped or anything), I looked over at Kemper's bed. Yes, there they were - two boys in a twin bed, Rowan completely tucked in under Kemper's sheet, Kemper out in the breeze and up against the wall. So, so cute.
Then this morning, I was cleaning out the car in preparation for our road trip. I had a crate full of toys sitting on the back step, and Kemper started playing with one of the music makers. He was having trouble remembering how it worked, so I told him he had to rub the bumpy things the other direction from what he was doing. He managed to do it right, and Rowan, who was standing close by watching, said, "You did it Kemper! I so proud of you!" And that's a direct quote.
Ironically (if that's even the correct word - daddy is the one with the vocabulary skills), just this morning at breakfast I was telling Morgan we really have to start watching what we say to the boys, since they're repeating many things back to us. Last night we had a bedtime battle, as I've become more of a sucker again. At one point when someone complained of an "owie", which I knew to be a stalling tactic, I said, "I don't care if you have an owie, you need to go to bed and I can give it a kiss in the morning". Don't you know, over the monitor a few minutes later I hear both of them saying, "I don't care. Go to bed." Boy did I feel like a heel.
But clearly it isn't just the "bad" things that get absorbed. They're picking up on the good things too. I'm so proud of them.
Anyway, last night I made my usual trip into their bedroom. I peeked around the corner, and Rowan's bed was empty. My first thought was that he must have fallen out, but a quick glance proved that theory wrong. After a very brief moment of panic (why, I'm not sure - it isn't like I thought he'd been kidnapped or anything), I looked over at Kemper's bed. Yes, there they were - two boys in a twin bed, Rowan completely tucked in under Kemper's sheet, Kemper out in the breeze and up against the wall. So, so cute.
Then this morning, I was cleaning out the car in preparation for our road trip. I had a crate full of toys sitting on the back step, and Kemper started playing with one of the music makers. He was having trouble remembering how it worked, so I told him he had to rub the bumpy things the other direction from what he was doing. He managed to do it right, and Rowan, who was standing close by watching, said, "You did it Kemper! I so proud of you!" And that's a direct quote.
Ironically (if that's even the correct word - daddy is the one with the vocabulary skills), just this morning at breakfast I was telling Morgan we really have to start watching what we say to the boys, since they're repeating many things back to us. Last night we had a bedtime battle, as I've become more of a sucker again. At one point when someone complained of an "owie", which I knew to be a stalling tactic, I said, "I don't care if you have an owie, you need to go to bed and I can give it a kiss in the morning". Don't you know, over the monitor a few minutes later I hear both of them saying, "I don't care. Go to bed." Boy did I feel like a heel.
But clearly it isn't just the "bad" things that get absorbed. They're picking up on the good things too. I'm so proud of them.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Backseat Drivers
The boys are very interested in driving, as I imagine most little kids are. They like to drive the car whenever possible, and I often let them do so while the car is parked in the driveway. This has resulted in 2 episodes of dead car battery (the first time they left the headlights on, the second time it was the interior lights), but on the whole it is fairly harmless as long as I lock up the sunglasses and other potentially delicate/dangerous items in the glove box.
They seem to have become experts on driving as a result of these driving sessions. Well, perhaps not experts, but they certainly are free with the commentary these days. The other day I was taking a sip of my beverage while driving, and Kemper shouts, "Mommy! You're not driving with both hands on the wheel! Put your other hand on it!"
My other personal favorite involves backing out of our driveway. This is a long, narrow driveway, and getting the minivan out without incident has taken a fair amount of practice (as evidenced by the paint streak on the fence side of the car, and the cracked rear view mirror on the house side of the car) as there are only a few inches of clearance on either side. After the rear view mirror incident, we instituted the "everyone be quiet while the car backs out" rule, as one of the boys had been in the middle of a fit that broke daddy's concentration. For the most part, everyone complies. Not long ago, I found a way that works well for me to get the car all the way out without hitting anything. When I pulled into the street, Rowan shouted, "Hooray for mommy!" Excellent show of support. Except that a few days later, after Morgan backed out, Rowan again shouted, "Hooray for mommy!" I believe he has since learned that it is better to give credit where credit is due.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
You Can Lead a Toddler to Bed, But You Can't Make Him Sleep
Sometimes I really wonder how the human species has survived this long. Maybe it's just my kids, but honestly there are days that I really wonder how anyone ever decides to have MORE children.
Yesterday was such a day. The boys were exhausted, as they had been up since O'dark thirty. When we put them down for their nap, they of course got all wound up and crazy. They can really egg each other on when they want to, and while it can be cute to listen to over the monitor, it can also make me crazy when I know how badly they need to rest. (Especially when I too desperately need a nap.) Anyway, after a very long time (maybe 2 hours) of them playing, giggling, unplugging the monitor and air conditioner, etc, we finally put our feet down and separated them. (Actually we had done so already, but they were back together - a long story not worthy of a post.) Kemper stayed in his bed, and Rowan came into our room. Morgan and I were both lying on the bed, trying to get him to settle into a horizontal position. He was having none of that. He kept sliding off the bed, all the while screaming bloody murder and having a major tantrum. After several attempts on our part, he slid off the bed again and started playing with our alarm clock. It's one of those fairly small digital am/fm clock radio alarm clocks, about 5 inches long, maybe 3 inches deep, and an inch or so high. I asked him several times to leave it alone and get back in bed, which he simply wouldn't do. In fact, he picked up the clock by the cord, right near where it meets the clock, swung, and walloped me in the face. Let me just say that for a 2 year old, he managed to really hurt me. (This is the point at which I left the room and went downstairs, allowing Morgan to fight the nap battle.)
Fortunately I woke up this morning and am not bruised from the incident, although I am still sore. The other upside to this event, as Morgan pointed out last night, is that I'm probably one of the few people who can actually claim to have been "clocked upside the head".
Yesterday was such a day. The boys were exhausted, as they had been up since O'dark thirty. When we put them down for their nap, they of course got all wound up and crazy. They can really egg each other on when they want to, and while it can be cute to listen to over the monitor, it can also make me crazy when I know how badly they need to rest. (Especially when I too desperately need a nap.) Anyway, after a very long time (maybe 2 hours) of them playing, giggling, unplugging the monitor and air conditioner, etc, we finally put our feet down and separated them. (Actually we had done so already, but they were back together - a long story not worthy of a post.) Kemper stayed in his bed, and Rowan came into our room. Morgan and I were both lying on the bed, trying to get him to settle into a horizontal position. He was having none of that. He kept sliding off the bed, all the while screaming bloody murder and having a major tantrum. After several attempts on our part, he slid off the bed again and started playing with our alarm clock. It's one of those fairly small digital am/fm clock radio alarm clocks, about 5 inches long, maybe 3 inches deep, and an inch or so high. I asked him several times to leave it alone and get back in bed, which he simply wouldn't do. In fact, he picked up the clock by the cord, right near where it meets the clock, swung, and walloped me in the face. Let me just say that for a 2 year old, he managed to really hurt me. (This is the point at which I left the room and went downstairs, allowing Morgan to fight the nap battle.)
Fortunately I woke up this morning and am not bruised from the incident, although I am still sore. The other upside to this event, as Morgan pointed out last night, is that I'm probably one of the few people who can actually claim to have been "clocked upside the head".
"That Can't Be Good"
The ongoing sleeping challenges are certainly keeping things interesting. We've been trying a number of tactics to improve our overall sleep quality and quantity, with varying and inconsistent results. There have been a couple of mornings when the boys went back to sleep after their 4 a.m. wake up, and stayed in bed until 6 or 6:30. But for the most part, they're ready to play at 5 or 5:30.
Yesterday Rowan woke up very early, but allowed me to lead him back to his bed. I dozed back off, but not long after that, Morgan and I heard some strange, distant noises that woke us up. We had determined that Rowan had gone downstairs, and strained to hear what was going on. We suddenly heard a very curious noise, kind of like a jar full of marbles or pebbles being shaken. We both sort of giggled, then Morgan said, "That can't be good". I agreed, and went to see what kind of damage was being done.
I turned the corner into the kitchen, and there was Rowan, standing in the middle of the room. He was holding one of his plastic bowls, which was full of frozen corn. There was also a small amount of the corn scattered on the floor at his feet. I was speechless. Yes, both boys have suddenly become quite fond of frozen veggies, but at 5:30 in the morning?! He had managed to open the freezer (we have a bottom freezer), find the right bag, get the clip off, procure a bowl, and do a pretty excellent job of pouring some out. Oh, he also got out the peas, but apparently wasn't as successful at removing that bag's clip.
Now, it isn't that our house is particularly unsafe for our children. However, without an adult present, they could potentially get into trouble or get hurt. So while a part of me is pretty happy that Rowan showed this burst of independence, I'm also somewhat terrified that he can get downstairs without waking me up. A gate on the stairs won't work - he'd just climb over it. So I'm not entirely sure how this is going to play out. This morning both boys were playing downstairs while we slept up in our cozy bed. Fortunately they didn't do anything particularly evil. We'll have to see how things progress.
Yesterday Rowan woke up very early, but allowed me to lead him back to his bed. I dozed back off, but not long after that, Morgan and I heard some strange, distant noises that woke us up. We had determined that Rowan had gone downstairs, and strained to hear what was going on. We suddenly heard a very curious noise, kind of like a jar full of marbles or pebbles being shaken. We both sort of giggled, then Morgan said, "That can't be good". I agreed, and went to see what kind of damage was being done.
I turned the corner into the kitchen, and there was Rowan, standing in the middle of the room. He was holding one of his plastic bowls, which was full of frozen corn. There was also a small amount of the corn scattered on the floor at his feet. I was speechless. Yes, both boys have suddenly become quite fond of frozen veggies, but at 5:30 in the morning?! He had managed to open the freezer (we have a bottom freezer), find the right bag, get the clip off, procure a bowl, and do a pretty excellent job of pouring some out. Oh, he also got out the peas, but apparently wasn't as successful at removing that bag's clip.
Now, it isn't that our house is particularly unsafe for our children. However, without an adult present, they could potentially get into trouble or get hurt. So while a part of me is pretty happy that Rowan showed this burst of independence, I'm also somewhat terrified that he can get downstairs without waking me up. A gate on the stairs won't work - he'd just climb over it. So I'm not entirely sure how this is going to play out. This morning both boys were playing downstairs while we slept up in our cozy bed. Fortunately they didn't do anything particularly evil. We'll have to see how things progress.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Sleep Deprivation
Apparently the opposite of laying down is "laying up". As in, "Mommy, lay up! I want to go downstairs and have some cereal!"
This is particularly challenging at 5 or earlier in the morning, which is the hour that the boys insist on waking up. We even have experimented (granted, only for two days, and yesterday was not very successful) with eliminating the afternoon nap in the hopes it would exhaust them enough to end the bedtime battle and the early wake up time, but no such luck. It would seem that we have been cursed with early risers.
Of course, when they're in school, we won't be able to budge them.
Sigh.
This is particularly challenging at 5 or earlier in the morning, which is the hour that the boys insist on waking up. We even have experimented (granted, only for two days, and yesterday was not very successful) with eliminating the afternoon nap in the hopes it would exhaust them enough to end the bedtime battle and the early wake up time, but no such luck. It would seem that we have been cursed with early risers.
Of course, when they're in school, we won't be able to budge them.
Sigh.
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